Bell's Theorem

President Bush was on a private pleasure trip to Timbuktu. It had rained heavily there. He developed a bad cold. He coughed. His voice slurred. He then hit a bump and stumbled a bit. His security man caught him in time. Timbuktu had a single TV company. Its enthusiastic cameraman caught Bush graphically in the act. It was flashed immediately. Other TV channels followed so as not to be beaten. Cautious executives in a few companies acted randomly on their own but their effect was one. Market-wise secretaries of some big companies with their sharp ears to the ground reported the small tremors to their big bosses. They on their part, so as not to take chances, acted independently, but their effect too was one. Companies around the globe started to act. No body wanted to be a fool. Stock prices progressively fell.

The Presidential cold finally reached Mumbai (Bombay for those fanatics who don’t still accept the restoration of the old name). Suby Joseph from Mumbai phoned to Swami Taklamakan of the Susquehanna Mission who was the Treasurer of its branch at Collimator. The Swami was calmly meditating when the phone incessantly rang. He was given the news that shares had come down a bit. The Swami rushed in the rain to the bank. He caught cold.

This is how Swami Taklamakan caught cold from President Bush.

Now Bell’s theorem, as I understand it, says that two particles, distances apart, act upon each other without having any demonstrable connection. I have now shown the connection between two apparently disconnected events. Will I not get credit for thus having explained the Bell’s Theorem?

Swami Sampurnananda, 23 October 2003.